


Peter-Parker-Isn't-Spider-Man

by paperowl



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comedy, Detective Flash, Enemies to Friends, Flash Thompson Redemption, Gen, Light Angst, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home Mid-Credits Scene, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27906430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperowl/pseuds/paperowl
Summary: "I was cow-tipping," Peter said with a straight face, doing his best to contain his laughter.Without missing a beat Flash asked, "For how long?""Oh, most of the field trip." Peter stifled a laugh when Flash scribbled furiously in his notebook. He was barely managing to keep it together as it was, and seeing Flash take everything seriously was just the cherry on top. Maybe his weirdly specific and invasive questions weren't as annoying as Peter had made them out to be.Or, the comedic detective Flash story that’s also kind of a redemption
Relationships: Peter Parker & Flash Thompson, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Flash Thompson
Comments: 32
Kudos: 197
Collections: Irondad Fic Exchange 2020





	1. Peter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [happybeans](https://archiveofourown.org/users/happybeans/gifts).



> For Happybeans, here's the Flash redemption with a side of comedy that you requested.
> 
> Huge thanks to [@impravidus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/impravidus) for her betaing help! This fic just kept getting bigger and bigger, I really didn't expect it to turn into such a beast of a story (especially for an exchange), but I've been in love with it since I got the idea. It's finals time and this fic caused more anxiety than literally any of my projects or exams because I just had to get it right, so I hope you enjoy reading it!

“Yo, Penis!” Flash shouted down the crowded hallway full of people moving between classrooms.

“Yeah?” Peter called back, opening his locker and pulling books out of his backpack. Responding to his nickname as if it was nothing was originally a way to get back at Flash for coining it in the first place, but instead, it had turned into an automatic response any time anyone said penis, and Peter wasn’t already paying attention. It wasn’t a huge issue, but it had caused a few embarrassing interactions.

“Where were you on the 26th of September at 3:04 PM two years ago?” Flash asked, almost demanding as he emerged into view with a notebook and pen in hand. 

“Uh…what?” Peter asked, pausing and absorbing whatever the heck Flash was doing. He placed his books in his locker and then stepped away, waiting for clarification.

“Where were you on the 26th of September at 3:04 PM two years ago?” Flash repeated sincerely. Peter couldn’t even detect a hint of a joke in his tone, and after three years of teasing from Flash, he liked to think that he was good at recognizing what was a joke from Flash and what wasn’t.

“I don’t know. Why do you need to know that?” Peter asked, reaching back into his locker to grab a textbook for his next class.

“Um,” Flash cleared his throat, and shifted on his feet, “research,” he said, looking unsure for the first time since this weird interaction had started.

“…okay,” Peter said, as he pulled out a book and put it in his backpack, “You do know that sounds incredibly stalkerish and shady, right?” He zipped up his backpack and straightened, swinging it over his shoulders.

“Yeah, I’m aware,” Flash said and clicked his pen. “Do you happen to have a planner, maybe cell phone records, some way to check?” He was saying this all so nonchalantly, and Peter couldn’t figure it out.

“No,” Peter shut his locker door. “Dude, this is so weird.”

“You’re gonna thank me later,” Flash said, turning on his heel and heading back down the hallway, scribbling in his notebook as he went.

Peter shook his head in disbelief and walked to his next class. Flash was Flash, which meant he was going to do weird stuff, but this was a new level of weird, even for him.

It happened again a couple days later. Flash came up behind Peter this time and tapped him on the shoulder with his pen. Without a pause, he said, “I didn’t see you at homecoming sophomore year, where were you?”

“Dude!” Peter gasped, nearly jumping out of his skin. His spider-sense couldn’t have bothered to warn him? What was the point of having a sixth sense if it only told you when you were in danger? Absolutely useless.

Flash marked something down in his notebook and then looked back up at Peter. “So….where were you?”

“Uh, at home, I didn’t get a date,” Peter said, giving Flash a weird look. What was going on?

“Oh, really?” Flash said, raising an eyebrow. 

“Why would I lie about… not getting a date?” Peter said, his confusion continuing to increase. Yes, he was technically lying, but he was intentionally giving Flash a lie that was embarrassing enough to sound like the truth.

“Oh wait, you’re right. That checks out.” Flash said, writing in his notebook for a moment before triumphantly snapping it shut. “See ya later, Penis, thanks for the info!” he said and brushed past Peter. 

Later that night, while he and May were eating one of the four meals she could consistently cook well, Peter mentioned it to May. It was a little invasive, and he was more protective of his private life now, after everything, but it was Flash, so it was really just a funny story.

“Flash is being so weird,” He said and took a bite of food.

“Oh?” May asked, raising an eyebrow and waiting for his response. 

“Yeah, he’s asked me twice now about where I was at weirdly specific days and times from like, two years ago.” Seeing the look on May’s face he quickly added, “I don’t think that he’s been hired by a private eye or anything, it’s just Flash being really weird. I think it’s kinda funny, actually.”

May smiled, but Peter could tell it was strained, “Well that’s good, honey.” She moved some green beans around on her plate before looking up at him again with a furrowed brow and saying, “But you do know that if he starts to freak you out or you think he’s working for someone we can pull you out and do online instead, right?”

“Yeah,” Peter said nodding. He knew May was trying to protect him as best she could, but he’d heard that proposition a few too many times, and he couldn’t say yes. If he didn’t go to school every day he would literally never leave the apartment, and it would look too suspicious. But May had heard those arguments several times and was still pitching it anyway. 

“No rebuttals tonight?” May asked, a quirk in her mouth and a smile on her voice. Peter knew she secretly enjoyed their disagreements over school, it was something that approached what normal used to be. When they’d be fighting over curfew and homework instead of slowly losing their minds while stuck inside.

“No,” Peter sighed, with a faint smile. “I’m too tired of all of it to try to care, you know?” He shrugged.

May gave him a sad smile and reached across the table, grabbing his hand. “I know. Sometimes I wish I could become invisible just so I wouldn’t be followed to work once in a while.”

Peter smiled, “I sure do wish I’d gotten invisibility included in the package.”

May chuckled, pulling her hand back and picking up her fork. “Maybe you can invent something to help on that front,” she winked, “with Tony.”

“Wait, what?” Peter asked, leaning forward, “Does this mean I can finally do something?”

“Yes,” May smiled. “Tony and I have been discussing it for a while and since you can’t patrol or go many places at all right now, we decided you could intern — actually intern — at Stark Industries.”

“Finally!” Peter exclaimed, leaning back and sinking down in his chair. “I can go somewhere where I won’t be stalked that isn’t my own apartment!”

May watched him with a smile on her face, looking happier than she had in a while.

“You know,” Peter said, pulling himself back up into a sitting position, “I always wondered what an internship there would be like.”

“You won’t get the full experience because you’ll only be working with Tony, but I’m sure you’ll get a sense for it,” May said, then she lowered her voice, “And I heard you might get to help with some Avengers suit repairs.” It was a conspiratorial whisper, and even through his excitement, because Avengers gear was incredibly cool and he’d be allowed to fix it, he could still tell that May had been the one to come up with the idea. 

“Thanks, May! I can’t wait!” Peter said, doing a bad job of containing his excitement and how antsy he felt in his seat. He wanted to call Ned and MJ immediately and update them. May gave him a knowing look and waved her hand towards his room, giving him permission to go gush about it and leave his dinner half-untouched.

Ned was incredibly excited for Peter, talking a mile a minute and trying to plan a celebratory hang out together since they didn’t see each other as much now and this was an event that could reasonably be used as an excuse to see one another. He and Peter worked out some fuzzy details and then Peter told Ned he would call MJ and invite her. 

It was a plan, and after Ned almost talked his ear off it was a relief to talk to MJ, who spoke at a normal volume and a normal speed. It took very little convincing to get her in on the plan. She missed seeing him outside of school as well, and she didn’t even get to experience the joys of being Peter’s Spider-Man confidant before the whole mess happened, so Peter liked that at the very least she would get to know about his internship. 

Peter’s first day of interning he was nearly vibrating out his skin with anxious energy, unable to wait through the school day, which seemed to just keep dragging on at a snail’s pace. Ned gave him a knowing smile and nudged him hard every time he noticed Peter looking antsy and MJ tried to reassure him, it turned out to be a good mix of support and Peter barely managed to make it through the day without his brain melting out his ears in boredom.

He had to stop himself from running right to the car he knew would take him to the tower. People were always watching him, and as much as he despised it, acting normal was worth the pain just so he could see Tony again and actually do something outside of school. The second Peter got in the car he was talking Happy’s ear off, and even then the ride was long and torturous. 

Peter leapt out of the car, calling thanks back to Happy, and couldn’t get to the lab fast enough. When he got there, he tried to act as though he had some semblance of control over his excitement, but Tony saw right through it.

“Well, you’re positively jumping out of your skin.” He chuckled, “What do you want to work on today? I’ve got a whole selection over there.” Tony waved to a table in the right corner of the room.

“Is that the Falcon’s drone?” Peter exclaimed, walking over to the table and dropping his backpack on the floor, looking over the projects.

Tony laughed. “Yeah, kid, it is. It just needs some light repairs, but I figured you’d be interested.”

“Of course I am!” Peter said, looking over at Tony and gesturing at the drone. “I get to work on the Avengers’ tech, how could I not be?”

“Fair point,” Tony said, walking over to the table and grabbing the drone, “Well then, we should get to work.” He took the drone over to his own workspace and beckoned Peter over.

Peter came over to examine the drone as Tony pulled up a blueprint and showed him where the damage was and what needed to be fixed. The two of them started work on the drone and aside from some talk about basic mechanisms and swapping tools, they fell into silence.

Once they’d closed up the drone and tested it — Tony gave Peter the honors of that particular job — Tony gave it the all-clear and put it off to the side for later. He came back over to Peter and sat down.

“So, how are you holding up?” He asked, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

“Eh,” Peter shrugged, “I mean I wish this was all over and I could patrol again, but at least this internship gives me something to do.”

Tony nodded, staying silent and letting Peter talk.

“Do you ever get used to it?” Peter asked. “All the attention I mean. People following you everywhere and knowing about everything you do outside of your house. All that stuff.”

Tony ran a hand through his hair. “It takes a while, and it’s not normally quite this bad. You just get a special extra bit of it because, to them, you’re on trial for murder.” 

“I suppose,” Peter said, a bit dejectedly.

“Look,” Tony said, leaning forward in his chair and holding Peter’s gaze, “This will all blow over in a few months. Legally, Spider-Man is innocent and your identity is still under wraps. Once the verdict is announced people will get tired of you and move on to their next big scandal. It’s shitty, but that’s just how it works. If you can stay boring for long enough they’ll get tired of it.”

“But what if they don’t?” Peter asked, glancing down at his hands and back up at Tony.

“Then we’ll figure out how to deal with it.” Tony said frankly. “Until then we’re working on Option A. Alright?”

“Okay,” Peter said with a sigh. “I’m just really, really tired of this. And I wish none of this had happened and I was just some random kid again.” Peter rarely voiced his complaints, but he was getting tired of all the hiding; he just wanted life to be normal again.

Tony stood up from his chair and started pacing. “Fury, the fucking idiot, never should have called on you to do anything for him of that magnitude. Really, multiple dimensions? Gigantic Elementals? I know I was still in a coma, but he had his pick of the Avengers and you shouldn’t have even been on his list. You’re still a kid, and I— I’m really sorry, I wish it hadn’t happened either.” He stopped and looked over at Peter, sighing.

“It’s okay,” Peter said, “I think it was kind of unavoidable. Beck wanted what he wanted, and he was willing to go to any lengths to get it. At least he’s dead now.”

“At least, yeah,” Tony agreed, rolling his eyes before standing up straighter and saying, “Anyway, now that we’re done with tech repairs and the heart-to-heart section of this internship, I’m going to teach you how to cook.”

“I’m sorry, you’re gonna what?” Peter asked in disbelief, head whipping around to follow Tony as he walked briskly to the elevator.

“You’re a senior in high school leaving for college next year, and your Aunt’s skills leave much to be desired, so I’m going to make sure you actually eat decent food, not just ramen. Come on, we’re going to the kitchen.” Tony said, stepping into the elevator and waiting for Peter to catch up.

“You can cook?” Peter asked, as the elevator traveled up to the common room and kitchen. “Because last I remember you were worse than May.”

“That was one time,” Tony huffed, “and yes I can cook, having a kid will do that to you.”

“I thought Pepper was the cook?” Peter asked, and the elevator dinged, doors opening.

“She secretly hates it,” Tony said, stepping into the common room, “so she taught me and now we rotate. That’s why she’s not the one teaching you. Well, that, and because I’m less likely to care if you burn down the kitchen.”

“That’s a horrible vote of confidence.” Peter scoffed, following Tony, “I swear I’m not gonna be that bad, working in the lab is different, and I only burned it down once.”

“You were raised by May,” Tony said flatly. “I’m expecting the worst.”

* * *

Two weeks later and Flash was still pestering Peter about where he was at oddly specific days and times. A few days in, when Peter got tired of saying ‘I don’t know’, he started making things up to mess with Flash. They got wilder and wilder as time went. His personal best was the time he told Flash he was at the hospital after having a severe allergic reaction to rice and Flash actually believed him, wrote it down in his notebook, and asked Peter which hospital.

“Dude,” Peter said, turning to Ned after Flash walked away from yet another question, “what is going on?”

Ned shrugged, “I don’t know. The only thing I’ve noticed is that it seems to be chronological and he’s up to this summer, so you should be good in about a week.”

“Good point,” Peter said, as he started to walk towards their classroom, “Wonder what he’s gonna do with all that information?”

“He’s gotta know some of that is fake, right? Like, he can’t actually believe that you went cow-tipping on a school field trip.” Ned said, keeping pace with Peter and following him through the door.

“I don’t know,” Peter said, weaving his way to the back of the class and plopping down in a seat, “If someone would believe all those stories, it’s Flash,”

“Yeah,” Ned laughed, sliding into the seat next to Peter. ”Hey, MJ’s coming to help us with the Imperial Star Destroyer set, right?”

“Yeah,” Peter said, pulling his notebook out of his backpack, “I mean, I don’t know how much she’ll help outside of moral support, but she kind of invited herself so— ” Peter cut himself off as the teacher walked to the front of the class and signaled for silence, ending their conversation. 

Two hours later, Peter was heading home alone. He still walked or took the subway to school most days, even if it meant being followed, so at least he could get some fresh air. Because of this, Ned and MJ were going to meet him at his apartment. By the time he got back he was late, having been stopped by one journalist and one curious bystander, late enough that both Ned and MJ were already there. Peter opened the door and saw them standing in the living room as May rushed around gathering snacks.

“— set’s in Peter’s room, you can start early if you like, but— oh, Peter, you’re home!” May said cheerily.

“Sorry I was late,” he said to Ned and MJ, “got stopped a couple times.”

“Oh, that’s totally fine,” Ned said and followed Peter as he walked to his room. 

The three of them settled on the floor, Peter and Ned opened the Lego box and May set a couple of bowls down on Peter’s desk for snacks, before leaving and closing the door behind her. MJ leaned against the bed and pulled out her phone, scrolling in a way that revealed she was only half paying attention to it.

“I’m so glad you can have us over more often now,” Ned said, dumping out the first bag and flipping the manual to the right page.

“Yeah,” Peter said, picking up a few legos from the pile. “May and Mr. Stark finally decided that it wouldn’t hurt, they just didn’t want you guys to get caught up in all of this too.”

“Makes sense,” Ned said, flipping the page and grabbing Peter’s pieces to add his section. “Hey, we can start our movie days again!”

“Oh yeah!” Peter said, and looked over at MJ to say something, but she beat him to it.

“What movies do you watch?” She asked, looking up from her phone.

“Mostly Star Wars, occasionally Lord of the Rings and some other stuff,” Peter said. “Why?”

“You were going to try and include me, right?” she said.

“Yeah,” Peter said, turning back to the legos and sifting through their ever-smaller pile.

“Until you pick stuff that’s less white, I’ll pass.” MJ looked back down at her phone and resumed scrolling.

“Maybe you could join us, like, once a month and pick the movie. That way we still get Star Wars, and you still get to see us,” Ned piped up, right as he opened the second bag of legos and dumped them out. The crinkling of the bag and the cascade of legos momentarily drowned out his words and MJ made a huff of amusement.

“I’ll consider it,” she said and then frowned at her phone.

Peter noticed, but went back to building, figuring it wasn’t his business. Not less than a minute later, MJ stood up, walked over to Peter’s backpack, and unzipped it, pulling out his laptop. “I need to show you something, and it doesn’t work well on a phone,” she said, holding the laptop out to him.

“Uh, okay?” Peter said, mildly confused as he entered his password and navigated to an empty tab. He handed it back to MJ who moved back to her usual position, typing quickly. Peter and Ned moved over next to her to see what was on the screen. The webpage she’d gone to finished loading, and in large letters at the top of the screen it said, “Proof That Peter Parker Isn’t Spider-Man”.

MJ started scrolling and Peter’s mouth dropped open, a quick glance at Ned confirmed he was doing the same. The ‘proof’ was a chronological timeline, detailing where Peter was every time there was a major Spider-Man sighting. There were photos, witness statements, and documents proving where he was, and it just kept going. It was so good that even Peter was half-convinced, even about things he knew to be downright lies.

MJ reached the end of the page, paused a moment for Peter and Ned to absorb what they’d seen, and then clicked on the author profile. It directed them to a bio which read, ‘I’m an acquaintance of Peter Parker, and there is absolutely no way he’s Spider-Man, so I’m here to prove it.’

“It has to be Flash, right?” MJ asked, breaking the silence. “I mean, he’s been asking all those weird questions, and the timeline ends about where he’s at with questions, right?” She clicked back a page.

“Yeah, I think it is…” Peter said in disbelief, “Who else could it be? He’s obsessed with Spider-Man but hates me, it makes total sense.”

“This is so cool,” Ned breathed. “It’s so good he made me doubt my own memory. Imagine what would happen if everyone saw this. He could change like, everyone’s mind and then you could go back to being Spider-Man! Come on, you have to admit that’s a genius idea, right?” Ned said excitedly, looking at Peter.

“We’re not even a hundred percent sure it’s him,” MJ interjected. “Plus, that seems like an over-estimation of one tiny blog’s impact.”

Peter nodded and sighed. “Yeah, it probably won’t do anything.”

“You should still ask him if he runs it,” Ned urged. “At least then we’d know something, right?”

Peter thought for a moment, and then agreed, “Okay, I’ll ask him,”

He found himself regretting that decision two days later, when, after asking Flash if he ran the blog, and then suggesting he could help with it when Ned nearly broke his ribs with an elbow, Flash coldly said, “No. No way. You are a data point, not a collaborator, no one will believe my story if you’re involved.”

“But—” Peter protested. 

“No.” Flash cut him off, “I’m already working on it. Leave me alone and reap the benefits or get involved and ruin your chances at a normal life. Even you’re smart enough to pick the right option, Parker,” he said, and strode off down the hallway.

“I have so many questions,” Peter said, watching Flash disappear into the crowd of students.

“You’ve got a weird life, dude. I think anyone would have questions.” Ned said. “And speaking of…”

Peter groaned, “No, not again, please no.” He grabbed MJ by the arm as she walked past them and said, “MJ, can you save me? Ned is gonna ask me which of the Avengers are dating, and I can’t handle this. Not again.”

MJ rolled her eyes, “I honestly don’t know how I’m friends with you two idiots. I’m going to be late for class though, so you’re gonna have to stick out the dramatic love story of the Winter Soldier and Black Widow again. Sorry,” she said, shrugging and pulling her arm out of Peter’s grip.

* * *

At dinner that night, Peter said, “So you know how Flash was asking me all those weird questions?”

May nodded, stabbing a piece of orange chicken with her fork.

“Well, it turns out he’s running a blog trying to prove I’m not Spider-Man,” Peter said, taking of sip of his water and smiling when May nearly choked on her chicken in surprise.

“He’s doing what?” She asked when she’d finished chewing, a surprised expression still on her face.

“Trying to prove I’m not Spider-Man. It’s actually really extensive and pretty convincing,” Peter said, reaching for a container of plain rice.

May raised an eyebrow, “Isn’t he that kid who bullies you?”

“Yeah, kind of,” Peter said with a shrug. “It’s mainly teasing though, nothing dramatic. I think he just loves Spider-Man so much that he can’t believe I would be him.”

“Are you going to do anything about it?” May asked.

“I don’t think so., There’s no point in getting it taken down,” Peter said. “But Ned wanted us to get it in front of all of New York somehow so we could change their minds. It wouldn’t work though.”

“Maybe,” May said, “but if anyone could make it work it’s you,” She pointed at him with her fork.

“I don’t know,” Peter started.

“You could talk to Tony about it.” May said, “Actually, you _should_ talk to Tony about it, at least so he’s aware of it. Dramatic plan or not.”

Peter nodded. “Do you want to see the blog?” 

“Sure,” May said, nodding and moving containers and plates around so Peter could set his laptop next to her. He sat down and clicked on the page, which he kept open in a tab, just because. Peter scrolled, and scrolled, marveling again at how extensive it all was.

“Impressive,” May said through a mouthful of noodles. She swallowed. “He’s got dedication, you have to give him that.”

“Yeah,” Peter said. “A whole lot of dedication.”

* * *

Peter followed May’s advice at his next internship meeting with Tony. They worked on Hawkeye’s bow for a while, and then Tony took him up to the kitchen to learn how to roast vegetables. It was easy work to chop them up, douse them in oil, season them a bit, and pop them in the oven. The timer set, Tony and Peter relaxed on the couch. 

“Hey, so you remember Flash?” Peter asked Tony, breaking the silence.

“Bully Flash or another one?” Tony responded, looking over to Peter.

“Bully Flash,” Peter said, rolling his eyes.“I don’t know that many people. But anyway, He’s trying to prove I’m not Spider-Man with this blog full of really impressive evidence and Ned said that we should use it to convince people I’m not Spider-Man, and I told May about it and she said I should talk to you, so I am.” He took a breath.

“Hang on, back up,” Tony said, “he’s trying to prove you’re not Spider-Man and you want to use his blog to clear you, basically, right?”

“Well, Ned wants to,” Peter shrugged. “But yeah, basically.”

“Are you on board with this idea?” Tony shifted to face Peter more.

“I don’t know,” Peter said. “It seems amazing, but the chances of it working are pretty slim. Plus, if somebody finds out I was involved all of that work’s for nothing because then the evidence is biased, you know?”

“Those are all good points,” Tony said, “and you’re right not to get your hopes up, people are incredibly hard to convince and weirdly attached to lies, even if they don’t know what the lie is.”

“It is nice to think about what would happen if it did change my public image though. I miss Spider-man, and I miss not being followed everywhere I go even more.” Peter said, earning a sad smile from Tony.

“Yeah, I feel you kid,” Tony said, “So I guess we’re rooting for this Flash guy to miraculously succeed?”

“I guess we are,” Peter said, struck by the strangeness of the situation, but not as bothered by it as he thought he’d be.


	2. Flash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, that's right, it's Flash POV time babey!!! Bet you weren't expecting that, huh? 
> 
> **Content warning:** some non-graphic descriptions of mild physical and verbal abuse, mostly in the context of conversation (think Howard Stark's A+ parenting). Please let me know if I should change the warnings or add to the tags.

Flash was updating the blog with the last bits of information he’d managed to squeeze out of Peter when his phone buzzed. He picked it up and looked at the notification, it was a text from a blocked number. That was weird, his dad had all their numbers on some exclusive no scam list. Flash opened his messages app ready to delete the text and block the number when its contents caught his eye.

_Your blog is impressive and convincing. I have a vested interest in proving Peter Parker isn’t Spider-Man. Care to help me out?_

Flash had stayed anonymous for a reason, and the only people who he’d told, albeit accidentally, were Peter and his friends. But Peter had already offered to help, and this didn’t sound like him or his friends. So, curiosity got the better of Flash and he responded.

_Who are you?_

The other person responded almost immediately.

_Tony Stark_

Flash stared at the name on his screen, that couldn’t be rea. Tony Stark wasn’t texting him, no way. He didn’t want to fall for a prank, but Flash decided he had to be sure before he dismissed it. After all, if it was Tony Stark, he could reach so many more people with his blog and story.

_Prove it_

Flash waited impatiently for several minutes and was starting to think that he’d been right in assuming this was all fake when his phone buzzed again. He’d received a picture of Tony Stark holding up a drawing that vaguely resembled a four-legged animal, the multicolored crayon scribbles all over the paper didn’t help with identifying it more than that.

_This is a drawing of a cat my daughter made two hours ago, feel free to run this image through reverse searches. I guarantee you won’t find a match.  
Have I proven myself?_

Flash ran the picture through three separate search engines before accepting that yes, Tony Stark was actually texting him. Well, that was a turn he hadn’t expected his day to take.

_You said you wanted to help me  
How?_

Flash still couldn’t really believe this was happening. Why was Tony Stark talking to him in the first place?

_I’d like to discuss that in person  
I’ll be in town next week and we can meet then. I’ll arrange transportation_

The back and forth continued, and as Flash was finalizing the plans he wondered if he’d made a horrible mistake. He was pretty sure he was meeting up with Tony Stark, but it could also be an incredibly elaborate kidnapping plot. Even if it wasn’t, Flash still had a lot of questions and none of them were being answered. 

Some of his fears were alleviated when the day of his meeting with Tony Stark arrived. He slid into the car Stark had said was going to pick him up, and already there in the passenger seat, was Peter Parker. His first feeling was that of relief, he wasn’t going to meet Tony Stark alone, and he probably wasn’t being kidnapped.

Second came confusion. Peter looked just as surprised as he felt, so clearly Peter wasn’t involved, but that meant… “You actually have an internship with Tony Stark?” Flash asked incredulously.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Peter responded, twisting in his seat a bit to get a better look at Flash. The driver of the car started pulling away from the sidewalk in front of the school. “Happy, wait,” Peter said. “Why is he here?”

“Ask him yourself. I was just told to pick up two kids today, that’s all I know,” The driver — Happy — said.

“Why are you here?” Peter said immediately after Happy stopped talking. He narrowed his eyes and fixed his gaze on Flash, waiting for an answer.

“None of your business,” Flash snapped, crossing his arms and pointedly looking out the window. He was very aware he was acting like a toddler, but it wasn’t his fault he’d been blindsided by Peter’s presence. The car ride was long, much longer than Flash felt it should be, and he could tell Peter wanted to pry, but Peter didn’t.

Just before they arrived at the tower, Peter’s phone dinged, and he pulled it out of his pocket, presumably looking at a text. He frowned for a moment before looking up and turning to Flash. “I’m supposed to take you with me.”

Flash nodded, and when the car stopped and Peter got out Flash followed wordlessly behind him. They walked into the building, bypassed security with some special access card Peter had, and stepped into a back elevator. The doors closed and without pressing any buttons the elevator moved and a voice spoke from somewhere above him.

_“Peter, Mr. Stark has left work for you in the lab.”_

“Okay,” Peter said. “Thanks, FRIDAY.”

Flash was just about to ask a question when the voice said, _“Flash Thompson, Mr. Stark is waiting for you in the common room.”_

Flash nodded. Peter looked confused at the voice’s statement for a moment, and then he turned to Flash and said, “That’s FRIDAY.” He gestured generally upwards. “She’s an AI and she runs all the important parts of Stark Tower. If you need anything and you’re up here, just ask and she’ll respond.”

“Okay,” Flash said. He knew Stark Tower had impressive tech, but an AI was news to him.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, Peter stepped out and gave him an awkward wave before turning and heading into what Flash assumed was the lab. The doors shut and the elevator moved up a few more floors before stopping to let him off. He walked out tentatively, looking at his surroundings trying to figure out where to go.

Then Flash heard an unmistakable voice from his left. “Ah, Flash! Glad to see you could make it. Is it alright if I call you Flash?” Tony Stark said, emerging from a hallway.

“Uh, yeah,” Flash said, suddenly very nervous. He was standing in Stark Tower, on one of Tony Stark’s private floors, talking to _Tony Stark_. Flash liked to think he was cool and wouldn’t freak out around celebrities, but the guy who literally brought him back from the dead and saved the world was standing in front of him, so he supposed it was reasonable to be a little starstruck.

Stark walked over to a small couch and sat down, beckoning for Flash to come join him. As Flash was walking to the chairs across from the couch, he realized that he’d never seen Stark wearing anything but a suit. Stark now was dressed in jeans and a dirty T-shirt, looking more disheveled and real than Flash was used to. Once he sat in the chair across from the couch and set his backpack on the ground, Tony started talking.

“So,” he asked. “Why are you doing this?”

Flash, surprised by the question, didn’t respond immediately, so Stark continued talking. “You don’t seem very fond of Peter, so why are you trying to help him?”

Flash shrugged, “Because I know he’s not Spider-Man, and he’s definitely not a murderer. I just felt like I had to tell people, let them know the truth.”

Stark nodded. “If you’re planning to do a whole bunch of interviews and revoke your anonymity for the cause, I should let you know that I will be contacting your parents making them aware of my involvement. I should probably let them know about this anyway, but since you’re almost eighteen and currently anonymous, it’s your call.”

“No,” Flash said immediately, “Don’t tell them. I never plan to reveal my identity. And my dad’s a jerk and would go nuts if I did something like that.”

“Okay,” Stark said. “Then let’s cut to the chase here.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his legs. “The plan is relatively simple. All we need to do is convince people that your information is trustworthy and get them to rally around the idea. Ideally, it would end up in the news, giving you even more exposure and opening people up to the possibility.”

“Okay,” Flash said, “but how are we going to do that?”

“Easy,” Stark said. “I boost your post up in search engine results, make it easier to find and spread to a wide audience. Then we encourage people to mobilize with it if they don’t do it spontaneously, and then, with luck, the news will pick up on the story, from there it’s only a matter of time until your information works its magic, and voila! Most of the general public now believes Peter isn’t Spider-Man.”

“That sounds deceptively easy,” Flash said. “You sure it’ll work?”

“I’ve spent my entire life being in the public eye, I know how it goes. This plan will work.” Stark said confidently. “If you’re okay with it we can meet weekly to discuss progress and updates to the plan. I’m planning on letting Peter join those but—”

“Why are _you_ doing this?” Flash asked in a moment of bravery. “Why are you helping me? It’s all for Peter anyway, why did you even need to talk to me about this?”

“I didn’t need to, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to,” Stark responded simply.

Flash crossed his arms, “I don’t buy it.” 

“Okay,” Stark said, pulling a pen out of his pocket and scribbling on some paper that was lying on the coffee table between them, “Well, if you’re still planning to come in a week, here’s my number. It contacts me directly.” He held the paper out to Flash who stared at it in disbelief. He’d just disagreed with Tony Stark, and Stark had decided to follow that up by giving him his personal number.

“Go on, take it,” Stark said, waving the paper at him, “unless you’re going to leak it to your whole class, which I would strongly advise against.”

“O-okay,” Flash said, tentatively reaching out and grabbing the paper. He stared at it for a moment before mumbling out a thank you and getting up from his seat. He grabbed his backpack and turned towards the elevator.

“Oh, and Flash?” Stark said.

“Yeah?” Flash stopped and turned back to look at Stark.

His expression was softer this time.“I’m a retired superhero, so if you need help with anything, even if it’s your dad being a jerk, don’t hesitate to call.”

“You really trust me with this?” Flash held up the piece of paper, still surprised he was holding it.

“If Peter has managed not to leak my phone number to the world in two years, I have no doubts that you’ll be able to do the same,” Stark said with a wave of his hand. 

“Uh—” Flash said, trying to figure out how to ask about transportation home. The comment about Peter just made it harder to think. Two years? Peter had actually been an intern for that long?

Stark caught on and said, “Happy, the guy who drove you here, can take you back to wherever you need to be. And FRIDAY will take you to the right floor and supply you with directions if needed. Right hon?” he directed the last part towards the ceiling.

_“Yes, boss,”_ FRIDAY said cooly.

“Thanks,” Flash managed to say before heading for the elevator. He stepped inside and managed to get all the way to the car without FRIDAY’s help. Flash left with more questions than he’d come in with, many of them were about Peter. 

Stark said Peter had had his personal phone number for two years, and the two of them seemed closer than Flash had anticipated. When he thought of Tony Stark, the man he just met was not who he thought of, and it was a strange disconnect. Maybe Peter Parker held similar depths. Not that Flash was willing to try to find out.

Flash stayed up late that night, puzzling over Stark’s decision to help him. It made no sense. Obviously he was close to Peter and wanted to help him, that part worked, the part where Flash got roped into the plan didn’t. There was no advantage to talking to him at all, Flash’s cooperation was not required, Stark could easily do everything himself.

There was no personal gain for Stark, and there was no personal gain for Flash. In fact, there were more compelling reasons not to include Flash. He teased Peter and they didn’t get along, and since Stark was motivated by his relationship with Peter it would make total sense to exclude Flash, or at the very least give him some sort of anti-bullying lecture.

Stark did none of that. In Flash’s world none of this made sense, deals and collaborations were motivated by gain and what the other person could give you. But maybe, Flash supposed, since Stark was, as he put it, “a retired superhero” he was just doing this out of the goodness of his heart. It was this explanation, though still flimsy to Flash, which finally let him sleep.

Flash’s blog grew much more quickly than he had anticipated and within a few days he was receiving thousands of views by the hour. He’d touched up the site and finished the timeline before going to meet Stark, and after seeing the views skyrocket, he was glad he did. Other than very mild anonymous fame, his week was rather uneventful.

Well, until his parents got back from their fifth vacation of the year. The silence over dinner was suffocating, and Flash could tell his dad was drunk. He braced himself for what he knew came next; his mother claimed jet-lag and went to bed early, and his father yelled at him for a couple things he did, and several things he didn’t. He wasn’t prepared for the slap. His father rarely hit him, but occasionally, when mad enough and drunk enough, anything went.

Flash retreated to his room, face hot and stinging. He didn’t mind that much, over the years he’d gotten used to having a shitty dad, but his face still hurt and he knew going to get ice was not an option, as he’d have to pass his father twice. Flash just hoped it didn’t bruise, his first update with Stark was tomorrow, and he’d rather not have to hide anything.

It was just his luck then that the next morning he looked in the mirror and noticed little red dots on his cheek, vaguely forming the outline of fingers. Flash usually had concealer (he had to cover pesky pimples somehow), but it had run out recently and he hadn’t had time to go get more. He sighed and stared at his cheek in the mirror, ultimately deciding it looked like some sort of rash, and if anyone asked he could just claim he was allergic to something.

That excuse got him through the school day and even past Peter, who spent a good deal of time staring at him on the ride to Stark tower as if he thought Flash wouldn’t notice. Peter joined Stark and Flash for the update this time, clearly already briefed on the situation, since he didn’t shoot any more confused glances at Flash. They were in the lab where all of Stark’s tech was, and Flash couldn’t help but gawk a little at all of the Avengers’ gear strewn about the place. He wondered if any of Spider-Man’s stuff was here.

When they’d finished — nothing of note had happened and the plan was moving along as scheduled — Stark sent Peter up to the common area and fixed his gaze on Flash in a scrutinizing way that made him uncomfortable. When the elevator doors closed and FRIDAY confirmed Peter was off the floor, Tony asked, “What happened to your face?”

Flash swallowed, lying to his classmates was easy, lying to Tony Stark was considerably harder. Still, Flash had plenty of practice pretending to be more confident than he was, so he waved at his face with false nonchalance and said, “Oh, this? Just a weird rash.”

Stark narrowed his eyes a bit and stood up from his chair, taking a few steps towards Flash. After studying his face for a moment Stark said softly, “Weird rash indeed, I could swear it looks like a handprint.”

Flash shifted on his feet and chuckled nervously, looking down at the ground. “Yeah, weird right?”

“Flash,” Stark said slowly, in a deliberately calm way that made Flash dread what he was going to say next. “Is that a bruise?”

Flash cleared his throat and looked back up at Stark, he decided lying wasn’t the best move, not when he could be removed from their weird partnership thing in a second if he did something wrong. “Yeah,” He shrugged. “Somebody slapped me. It’s not a huge deal.”

Stark moved to sit back down, giving Flash some much-needed distance. “Depends on who slapped you.”

“And why does that matter to you?” Flash snapped, getting defensive. He didn’t want Stark’s pity or care, and Stark seemed to be edging close to pity _and_ care, and maybe… concern? Stark’s expression was the opposite of what he wanted; he looked like he actually cared.

“Because we’re working together and I care about your wellbeing. Also, Pepper says I can’t help but collect random teenage boys to take care of, and since you’re number three, I’m now inclined to agree.” Stark watched how Flash responded, seeming unusually calm for the situation.

“And what if I don’t want you to care?” Flash asked, the bite still present in his tone.

“Unfortunately for you, that won’t change anything. You see, there’s this pesky thing called compassion—“

“Alright, fine, I get it.” Flash sighed and rolled his eyes. He shouldn’t be surprised that a former superhero was refusing to not care about him, but hey, it’d been worth a shot. 

Stark looked him over again, contemplating something. “Does that bruise have any connection to your dad being a jerk?”

Flash froze, unsure what to say. Stark stared at him expectantly. “Maybe,” Flash managed to mumble.

Stark gave a deep sigh. “I’m going to be very frank here, and I want you to give me an honest answer. Are you safe at home?” He asked, concern visible on his face.

“Yeah,” Flash said defensively, “I said my dad was a jerk, not abusive.”

“You also just said he hit you.” Stark pointed out. “So excuse my concern.”

“He doesn’t hit me a lot,” Flash said. “Mostly just gets drunk and yells.” He shrugged. 

A sad look flitted across Stark’s face and he paused, taking a breath before he spoke. “Does he ignore you too? So busy he can’t pay attention until you’re doing something wrong?”

“Y-Yeah,” Flash said. _‘How did you know?’_ , the question danced on his tongue, waiting to be spoken.

Stark noted his pause and continued, pre-empting his question. “I know because my dad did the same thing. He was quite partial to sending me away to boarding school every year and comparing me to Captain America. Sometimes it felt like Steve was his son more than I was.” Stark smiled sadly.

“Oh,” Flash responded simply. 

“Like I said before,” Stark said, “call me if you need anything. And if you need to get out, I’ll be here.” He paused, “Peter’s up in the common room if you want to hang around a while longer, just ask FRIDAY for directions.”

“Okay,” Flash said. He turned and left the lab, and recovering from the conversation he’d just had, decided to head home even if the idea of staying was tempting.

His bruise healed quickly and was barely noticeable in a couple of days. Flash made sure to stock up on concealer again, just in case. Stark may have had his concerns, but Flash was 17, a senior in high school, in less than a year he’d be out of the house and away from his parents for most of the year. He already had a pretty good escape route in the form of an Ivy League college, he didn’t need Stark’s help.

He was civil with Parker all week, managing to refrain from anything more than some halfhearted insults that missed their mark. Flash was possibly more upset with Peter than he had been in years because not only did he keep stealing Flash’s spot at the top of the class without even trying when Flash actually needed it, now Flash knew that Peter didn’t. 

With the revelation that Peter had known Tony Stark for two whole years, Flash had no doubts a celebrity endorsement and scholarship could get Peter into any college he wanted. Flash didn’t happen to have that kind of star power on his application, and being top of his class could be the boost he needed to more than just scrape into an Ivy League. The ease with which Peter excelled grated on Flash’s nerves more than usual, but he decided that since they were working together he would try and lay off of the teasing a bit, if only so he wasn’t kicked out of an opportunity to get to know Stark better.

Their next update meeting was upon him faster than he realized, and on the car ride to the tower he decided if Tony asked him to stay, he would. That issue settled, he listened to Happy complain to Peter about Downton Abbey and poor John and Anna Bates and the most recent misfortune they’d encountered. Peter nodded along in the practiced sort of way that indicated he’d been pretending to care about Downton for quite some time. Flash, unable to resist messing with Peter a bit, inserted himself into the conversation and said, “John and Anna were terrible for each other.”

Peter gave him a look which said _‘oh, not you too’_. Flash just smirked at him and continued talking. His incredibly enlightening debate with Happy, not that he was invested in the show, lasted until they got to Stark Tower. Peter looked bored out of his mind, and so, so annoyed. For once, Flash’s mother’s obsession with Downton Abbey had been useful for something.

The update was short but promising. Several small news outlets had picked up the story, and there was already a petition calling for the charges against Peter to be dropped. As far as Flash knew, there were no charges against Peter, so the point was null and void, but the support was what really mattered. And Stark hadn’t even needed to nudge anyone, all he’d needed to do was boost the blog’s views.

True to his earlier decision, Flash stayed when Stark offered, and in the strangest turn of events, ended up making grilled cheese with Tony Stark and Peter Parker. Every time Flash thought his life couldn’t get any weirder, it did. Flash didn’t know why they were cooking grilled cheese, but he’d never learned to cook more than frozen toaster breakfasts and microwave meals, so he didn’t complain.

He and Peter both burned their first attempts rather horrifically. Peter definitely did it worse, as he managed to catch his sandwich on fire and Flash’s only smoked. After using the fire extinguisher, being deafened by fire alarms, and coughing at the smell, Flash did not want to try again. But Stark urged him on, and somehow hitting on something to motivate both Flash and Peter, staged a competition. It was rather simple really, whoever could make the most edible grilled cheese won.

Flash, desperate to win much more than he let on, now understood the stress of those cooking shows, and he didn’t even have a time limit. He and Peter sniped at each other a bit, and just as Flash’s sandwich was reaching the perfect level of toasted, Peter said, “I didn’t know you were more obsessed with Downton Abbey than Happy.”

Stark let out a laugh behind him, and Flash slapped his spatula down on the counter. “I’m not obsessed.”

“You sure? I know you think I’m a nerd, but I’m pretty sure liking Downton is nerdier than liking Star Wars.” Peter said, a sly smile creeping across his face.

Flash spluttered, sandwich forgotten, and tried to defend himself. It wasn’t until a minute later, when the smell of burning reached Flash’s nose, that he realized the whole thing had been a distraction. Peter’s grilled cheese was a lovely golden brown, and Flash’s was half perfectly done, and half completely black. He scowled as Stark pretended like it was in any way a fair competition, annoyed at losing. 

Despite the loss, Flash could admit, at least to himself, that he’d enjoyed his evening. Peter wasn’t as bad as Flash had thought him to be. And Flash found that the humiliation he felt when he realized he’d burned his sandwich after being intentionally distracted paled in comparison to the feeling of being able to make his own lunch. This thing with Stark and Peter was turning out to be more beneficial to him than he’d previously anticipated.

After that, Flash could feel himself warming to Peter. He still couldn’t help but tease, but the malice and delight behind his words had given way to a playful, more friendly tone. He ended up beating Peter at their next cooking contest: eggs, scrambled. It was apparently eggs part two for Peter who had, according to Stark, actually done a pretty good job the first time around. They both did decently, but Flash gave a mini victory gloat in his head when his eggs came out better.

Some time in between meetings, around the one month mark of the project, Flash and Peter shared contact information. Peter mostly used it to annoy Flash with Downton Abbey memes, which Flash supposed was only fair after three years of the teasing going the other way. When the first big network covered the story about the ‘Anonymous Blogger on a Quest to Prove Peter Parker Isn’t Spider-Man’, they texted each other in excitement. When the next two news outlets aired their stories, Flash and Peter decided to ask Tony if they could bake cookies that week in celebration of their success.

And when another outlet released a twenty-minute long segment, with interviews and footage of a gathering in Peter’s support in Central Park, Peter and Flash called each other and decided, in a flurry of words, to have a mini party at the tower. It only involved people who already knew of the plan, so really it just meant they included Happy, Pepper Potts, and Peter’s aunt.

Flash and Peter got to bake their celebration cookies and managed not to burn most of them. According to Peter they were fine, his aunt didn’t mind ‘crispy’ cookies. Flash took a long moment to stare at the batch they’d almost burned black and decided he’d believe it when he saw it. Tony just rolled his eyes at Peter’s statement and said, “Of course she does, how else does she justify that terrible cooking?”

The mini party was rather uneventful, and accidentally much more boring than either Flash or Peter had anticipated. Peter clearly knew everyone, and was quite comfortable, while Flash had yet to meet Pepper, and had only the most basic knowledge of May, he thought he’d only briefly spoken to her a couple of times when she accompanied Peter to academic decathlon tournaments.

Pepper was much nicer than he anticipated, and she even complimented him on the cookies, even though they were the most basic chocolate chip recipe in existence. May, as Flash came to learn, did indeed enjoy “crispy” cookies, and he couldn’t help but openly stare as she ate not one, not two, but three of the cookies from the botched batch. He shared a stunned look with Tony, who, it seemed, had also not believed Peter. 

May was even nicer than Pepper, acting so friendly with him that he almost couldn’t believe she knew about his and Peter’s formerly adversarial relationship. He didn’t know when he’d stopped classifying it as such, but it was a welcome change. May even, to Peter’s obvious dismay, invited him over to their apartment to spend some time with Peter when the project was over.

Flash chuckled to himself as he watched Peter pull May into a corner, cheeks aflame, and try to convince her not to do that ever again. When he’d finished he came over to Flash and said earnestly, “Sorry about that, I think she sometimes forgets I’m not eight anymore. I don’t mind if you come over, don’t take that bit wrong, but I did not ask her to invite you for me, I swear.”

Flash shrugged and waved it off, secretly feeling a little jealous that Peter had someone who cared for him enough to forget he was almost an adult. Tony took that moment to walk over to Flash and lean against the island that Flash had taken a seat at.

“How would you feel about being an intern?” he asked. It was so casual that Flash took a moment to absorb what that meant.

“Really?” He asked when it hit him, eyes wide as he turned to look at Tony.

“Yeah, could give you a boost in college applications, maybe a handshake of acknowledgment from dear old dad if you’re lucky. What do you say?” 

“I…” 

The mention of his father gave him pause. On the one hand, he wanted to prove himself to his dad, and on the other, he felt like accepting the help would be, cheating, almost? His entire life he’d grown up succeeding with favors and endorsements, and until Tony propositioned him, he hadn’t even realized he wanted to do something on his own for once, take the route his dad hadn’t. Maybe it would be a big mistake or maybe it would make him happier, either way, in a snap, Flash decided he wanted to try.

“I don’t want it,” he said resolutely.

Tony’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You don’t? Why not?”

“Because… I think I’m tired of endorsements and name-drops giving me whatever I want. That’s how my dad does everything, and I’m not sure I want to turn out like him.”

Tony nodded. “Smart kid.” Then, he gave a small smile and said, “You know, Peter declined my offer to help him get into MIT. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever manage to get a kid into college off of my influence, because if not, then what was the point of going in the first place?” He chuckled.

Flash smiled and took a breath, “Do you think I could still, I don’t know, come do stuff sometimes? I don’t want your influence, but I do think it’d be a fun experience.” He shrugged, trying to play his request off as casual, even though he would be more devastated than he’d like to admit if Tony said no.

“Of course,” Tony responded easily, a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. “As long as you promise to join my side of the prank war.”


	3. Peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Signing up for two fic exchanges with due dates around finals and christmas was a mistake that made me late for both deadlines, but this fic is finished! I hope you enjoy this final chapter/epilogue because I had a blast while writing it. I want to say thanks to all the commenters, your support has been lovely and I'm so glad y'all have had fun reading this because this is one of my most favorite fics I've written.

Peter jumped up when he heard a knock at the door and went to open it. The door opened to Ned, who started their handshake the moment he saw Peter. They’d become so practiced that Ned could step into the apartment and Peter could close the door and their movements wouldn’t falter. 

“You did it!” Ned exclaimed, a large smile on his face. Then he lowered his voice and asked, “How’s it going with Spider-Man?”

“May finally said I could start getting back to my regular schedule, no more thirty-minute swing arounds of the block, thank goodness.” He flopped down on the couch. Noticing Ned’s concerned look Peter said, “Don’t worry, Flash isn’t here yet.”

Ned lit up and started up an incessant stream of excited questions and ramblings. Peter smiled and answered everything he could, still dodging the question of which avengers were dating, he truly didn’t know that one. MJ arrived a few minutes later, interrupting Ned in a tangent Peter was glad to not have to continue to listen to.

“Sup, dorks,” MJ said in greeting. Before Peter or Ned could reply she asked, “Why do the balloons say TIM?”

Peter followed her line of sight and then blushed a bit at his mistake. “They’re supposed to spell MIT but I set them up from the other side. I’ll have to fix that.”

“You sure you got into MIT?” MJ teased, smiling at Peter’s offended gasp.

“Are you sure you still have a date tomorrow?” Peter shot back. He wasn’t actually going to cancel their first date, but he had to get back at her some way.

Ned gave him a high five for the comeback, as Peter was normally very bad at them, and Peter lost any cool points he had attained because all MJ did was roll her eyes. He updated her on the Spider-Man situation, how it had taken ages for May and Tony to agree on anything, and even longer for him to get out in the suit.

Ned and MJ now knew about Flash and the whole plan to get Peter out of the public eye. They were wary when they’d first heard about it, but as the attention towards Peter diminished until he was rarely ever followed or stopped in the street, they warmed to the concept and to Flash. Things had gotten even better for Peter when it was announced to the public that Spider-Man had been acquitted of all charges. 

Now here they were, celebrating and (mostly) stress-free thanks to Flash, who was currently running late. Considering this little party was for both him and Peter, it was a wonder why he hadn’t already arrived. Peter guessed he may have been trying for a fashionably late entrance, but in a group of four people, that just translated to late.

By the time Flash knocked on the door almost a third of the snacks were gone and Peter, Ned, and MJ were arguing about which movie to watch and if it would be rude to actually watch one at all. The discussion had been at yes to a movie, no to just about every movie that had been proposed.

MJ hopped up and opened the door to a disheveled-looking Flash. He held up a hand before she could do anything past making a face. “I may have been attacked by pigeons,” he said. 

Ned stifled a laugh and Peter asked, “How did you get attacked by pigeons? They’re like, one of the least vicious animals ever.” 

MJ closed the door behind Flash as he walked closer to the couch Peter and Ned were sprawled across. Flash shrugged, “I was sitting on a roof, trying to intercept Spider-Man when all of a sudden they just attacked.”

Peter and Ned did a horrible job of trying to hide their laughter, but Flash was distracted by the balloons. So when Peter and Ned broke out laughing, it was conveniently after Flash said, “Hey, who’s Tim?”

MJ helpfully explained the balloon confusion to Flash while Peter and Ned collected themselves. Then Ned asked, “Why were you trying to intercept Spider-Man?”

“Because,” Flash said. “I got a job with a newspaper to take photos of him and try to get an exclusive interview. Since the blog proved I’m such a good investigative journalist I figured why not try my hand at it.” He shrugged.

“Oh, cool,” Peter said, stifling a smile. “Good luck with that.”

“Thanks,” Flash responded. “Now, I thought we were going to celebrate both of us getting into MIT without Tony Stark’s help.”

  


* * *

  


The next couple of years were quite peaceful for Spider-Man, and Peter managed not to accidentally reveal his identity to anyone else. He occasionally posed for photos and gave the odd interview, but nothing that could give his identity away. Flash was less tricky to deceive than he thought, Peter supposed that was due to Flash having been the one to prove Peter wasn’t Spider-Man. 

He and Flash grew close, as MJ and Ned weren’t going to MIT. They studied together, saw each other in several classes, and were much friendlier than Peter would have ever anticipated they would be. So even though Flash was intent on finding out Spider-Man’s identity, Peter couldn’t say no to Flash when the opportunity to be roommates presented itself. Peter needed to save all he could on rent.

Peter made it through most of the year with only minimal fear of being discovered, and that’s probably what made him so sloppy. One day in March, as he was hurriedly pulling himself out of the wet spider suit (which was stuck to his body and would not un-elasticize itself after a fall into the river in the middle of a rainstorm), he saw a flash of light from the corner of his eye. Peter froze.

He looked up to see Flash standing near him with a camera pointed directly at Peter and a gape on his face. That jolted Peter into action and he started moving towards Flash, stumbling over his words — and his feet — as he tried to explain to Flash that it wasn’t what it looked like.

Flash opened and closed his mouth several times, at a loss for words, before finally gathering himself and nearly shouting, “Parker, WHAT THE F— “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love a good reference, especially when used humorously. Shoutout to Kernsing, who guessed this ending by accident. I'd had it planned like this from the early stages, but that comment really sealed the deal and made me love it more than I already did. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading this fic and commenting such lovely things, it means the world to me 🤍

**Author's Note:**

> Visit me on tumblr [@papered-owl](https://papered-owl.tumblr.com/) for mediocre art and the occasional writing update. Please scream at me in the comments, I love knowing what y'all love about my writing


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